"Disable the option to automatically connect to MSN"
There are things that should be forbidden. Like I start Messenger every time you connect to Hotmail. It's not that you don't like Messenger, it's that at that moment it doesn't play. But it starts... and you start getting notices of who your contacts are, who, like you, are online at that moment. Someone may be bored... oh! no! here comes the first chat request... just when you don't have time for that... and you have to be something rough and unpleasant to cut off the conversation. You are often unavailable in your state but often do not arrive on time. They all run to greet you and you don't know how to cut them off.
If you want to definitively avoid this bad time and connect to Messenger only when you decide to do so, install Hotmail Messenger Fix which will create the option not to activate Messenger automatically
A simple step to save you more than a bad time.